Ingredients

• 500g of freshly written functions (al dente)
• 2 cups of variable declarations (the more cryptic, the better)
• A handful of nested if-statements
• 3 tablespoons of commented-out debug print statements
• A pinch of syntax errors for that authentic flavor
• Liberal amounts of copy-pasted Stack Overflow answers

Cooking Instructions

• Begin by heating up your IDE to maximum performance
• Throw in your variables before they're properly initialized
• Mix in your functions, making sure to never document what they do
• Add nested if-statements until you can't remember what you're checking for
• Sprinkle with global variables throughout the codebase
• Let it simmer until deadline, then serve immediately before testing

Warning

Side effects may include: hair loss, uncontrollable muttering, and the sudden urge to rewrite everything in a new framework.